MY FIRST: "Time"

So, if you're reading this blog, chances are you've either experienced, learned about, thought about or at least know of sex. If not, maybe have a discussion with a science teacher, family member or someone you trust and read this blog at a later date. I only ever intend to give "the talk" to my future children and that's not for a while yet. 

Sex. S E X. Most people would be gasping at the fact that I'm actually talking about it, a lot of people seem to avoid the topic entirely and deem it as "vulgar". Well, it's 2019 lets move past the stigma around girls and sex. We all do it at some time, we wouldn't even be here without it (a gross thought but still true!). It's a natural part of life and that's all there is to it. Okay, so first times are different for everyone, no two people experience the same thing the exact same way. However, one thing most people tend to agree on is that their first time is always awkward and slightly uncomfortable.

Well, I'm one of the lucky few.

I was 17 when I lost my virginity. It wasn't a special day, I didn't walk in to a bed full of rose petals and a naked gent who wanted to "make this moment perfect". It didn't need to be perfect, just comfortable. And that's exactly what it was. At this point, I'd been in a relationship with this person for 3 months. But I'd also been in love with him for 6 months prior to that (I was crushing incredibly hard guys), and we actually met a year before that night. In that year we became best friends to a point where we could tell each other everything, there was nothing he didn't know about me and I him. It felt like we'd known each other for a lifetime. 

It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon, college had just let out for the day. My boyfriend at the time and I walked hand-in-hand back to his house where it just happened. We both knew that we wanted to and made sure of that and then it happened. Nothing extraordinary or spectacular (well it was spectacular but not the point). The moment may not have been "romantic" or "perfect" but it was our own kind of perfect - just two people sharing their love for each other. I couldn't have asked for anything better. We laughed at awkward times, enjoyed the good moments and loved every second of it with the other person. 

It's been 2 years since that day and the only difference is that we love each other even more now than we did before. I guess when you know, you know. I'm fortunate enough that I'm still with the person I experienced my first time with, my best friend and the love of my life.

But as I said before not everyone has the same experiences, so if you haven't had yours yet don't feel bad if it doesn't go the way you expect. Just make sure it's not going to be something you regret. If you really want to know whether you should or you shouldn't then ask yourself if you were to break up with this person or you were to never see them again, would you regret it? My answer was no because in that moment we loved each other and that was all we needed. Sometimes it's planned, sometimes it just happens but be sure it's what you want.

For those of you who have already had your first time, think back to it - was it awkward, uncomfortable, funny, special or maybe all of the above? I hope it brings you a slight smile and a small chuckle at the memory. Until next time:)

Shine bright sunshines, 

Raye x

"Men always want to be a woman's first love, women like to be a man's last romance" - Oscar Wilde

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