*WARNING: this post mentions depression and anxiety*
On with the post! I'd always wanted a (specific) tattoo, since being 14. Some people don't like tattoos, some detest them and others absolutely love them! Me? I love the stories behind them. I don't necessarily mean the meaning behind the tattoo, some people get tattoos purely because they like the colour or the design. Others get tattoos about the things they love the most. Although If I did that I would definitely end up with a pizza somewhere on my body, probably my ankle...
Don't do it
Why?
you'll regret it
It's pizza - I could have no regrets!
…
I'm just kidding!
no you aren't.
Anyway, the stories of a tattoo can say a lot about a person - whether they're impulsive or think too much before making a decision, what they're interested in. I think it's amazing how just a bit of ink can tell you a full story. My story is that at the age of 14, I saw an anchor tattoo that I fell in love with, my reasoning for that was at the time I suffered greatly from depression and anxiety. I won't go into great detail but it was pretty bad. I often felt like I was drowning and that I couldn't resurface, pulling myself down - just like an anchor. However, my family and closest friends helped pull me back up and made me feel like I could breathe again, they refused to let me sink.
The reason I never got the tattoo was because I didn't want people to think I was just "copying" the tattoo because I'd seen it online. It had a lot of personal value to me and was more than just a design. Another reason was that I knew what I had been through, it was such a difficult time in my life that I will never forget it but I didn't want to always be reminded of it. In the end, I decided not to get that tattoo when I was old enough. As it was the only tattoo I'd ever wanted and I didn't want any others, by the time I turned 18 I wasn't interested in getting a tattoo.
Fast forward to late September 2018, over a month after my 19th birthday. It'd been a rough couple of weeks, I'd been having a few bad mental health days and my physical health wasn't too good either. It was a very hard time for me. I did what every 19 year old does when times are tough - watch films, eat food and wear pyjamas until they moulded into my skin. I'd binge watched the Divergent film series in one day and then decided to watch it every day for a week solid because I was incredibly obsessed (only the first two films, I haven't watched the rest yet - no spoilers!!!). Whilst I was watching the first film, I continuously found myself looking at the 3 flying birds tattoo that the lead female character got. Not even for any particular reason, I just really liked the tattoo, I thought it looked pretty.
After my week of watching Divergent practically non-stop, I'd had a particularly bad day and just wanted something new. It's kind of like after a break up, new hair, new man right? You girls know what I mean. Well this wasn't a break up but it was like I was trying to be more positive about my life and myself, I needed a change or just something. That day I went to the tattoo parlour in my local town centre, asked to book in a tattoo and had it done right there and then. The pain was nowhere near what I was expecting it to be - everyone makes it out to be like a horror story! Although, people always say when you get one you want more. It is incredibly true.
And that's how I got the 3 birds tattoo on my hand. There's no particular meaning behind my tattoo, it was a very last minute, impulsive decision. I couldn't be happier with it because if I hadn't got it that day I'm not sure if I ever would have and I wouldn't have my second tattoo, which I'm also absolutely in love with. But that one I took much longer to make a decision about what I wanted.
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| Left: First Tattoo 19/9/18 Right: Second Tattoo 16/11/18 |
As always, any advice/questions/suggestions you have don't forget to Email/DM me at the links below! Tell me about your first tattoo! If you don't have one, would you ever think about getting one?
Shine bright sunshines,
Raye x
"I just do things I like. I don't think about it." - Marty Rubin
Email: rayofsunshineblog@hotmail.com
DM: instagram.com/rayeofsunshineblog
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